Movies In Brief - Summer 2003 is brought to you by.....................

Try something organic today.

Intolerable Cruelty - Engage the enemy.

The Ladykillers - I got my ticket!

This just in: Riley Weston set to star in a movie about Treva Thronberry.  And of course, the tentative title is still pending legal action: The Wild Thronberry.

In the works: Pauly Shore's got "You'll Never Wiez In This Town Again", and Shane Black's got "You'll Never Die In This Town Again".  They've joined forces and are going to adapt Julia Phillips' bestseller "You'll Never Eat Lunch In This Town Again".  Pauly will portray both Julia Phillips and Warren Beatty.  Franc Roddam was attached to the project as director, but dropped out, and so did Richard Loncraine.


Out Of Time - Maybe Denzel's right.  There are no good parts for leading black men!

Sudden Death - I gotta say, the fight scene with the baddie in the mascot outfit has got to be some kind of camp classic.  Goes on way too long, though.

Cold Creek Manor - Figgis goes commercial!  Not to be confused with the following, though she's in Underworld now.  Kinda weird, huh?

Sweet November - Right now Pat O'Connor and Bill Forsyth are drinking at the same bar...


8/14/2003 - Well, the New York Blackout is already having ripples in Hollywood.  They're already going to do a remake of 11'09"01 about the New York Blackout.  And Spike Lee's doing a sequel to Get On The Bus about the blackout, which is to be called Get Off The Subway.


The Order - Looks good, kind of a Blade-style hybrid quality to it, but it's a battle of what's cooler: this, or Underworld.  Who will triumph at the Box Office? ...ah!  Brian Helgeland keeping a low profile again!  Shame...

Underworld - It's got attitude, anyway.

Bad Taste - I've started watching it.  There's the certain visual flair, and of course the gore, but other than that it's just kinda slow and boring...

American Splendor - The rave of the season.

The Sopranos - Goombah-yah, my Lord, Goombah-yah...

Bubba Ho-Tep - What was Ossie Davis thinking?  He looked good, though.

Marci X - I detected a director cameo in the commercial!  Must've been in his contract.  Also, why do I get the feeling that this script has been shopped around for at least a decade?

Freddy vs. Jason - I wish Hellface would come along and smoke these turkeys.

Tremors - As much as I hate to use the phrase, the one scene in this movie is an NRA wet dream.

Grind - Dreck.  I guess Tony Hawk's waiting for the sequel.

Uptown Girls - I couldn't help but think of Drumline or Hardball.  Not that I've seen any of those.  I just don't know who to root for, this or My Boss's Daughter.

My Boss's Daughter - But I still haven't seen Just Married yet!  Ashton's more prolific than even Adam Sandler.

Gigli - This year's Ishtar, or the current Governor of California, whichever you prefer.  A shoe-in for several Razzies.  Fans of Ben and J. Lo. are just gonna have to wait for Jersey Girl to see a film that puts their torrid off-screen romance to optimum use.

Open Range - Kevin's back!  And in the Oscar saddle again.  Finally, Hollywood has a reason not to elect Return of the King for Best Picture.

The Haunted Mansion - Eddie Murphy could use a hit, and I don't know.  I saw the trailer, Eddie, and the audience didn't laugh where they were supposed to!...


From Justin To Kelly - Two questions.  One: did it bomb already?  And two, why didn't they call it "From Kelly To Justin?"

New Rose Hotel - Chris Walken and Willem Dafoe in the same movie?  Together?  I mean, besides Heaven's Gate and Basquiat......

The First $20 Million Is Always The Hardest - Great White Team Leader Tame Nerd Savages.

It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World - Read the following article about it...

The Incredibles - It's a year and 4 months away, and yet there's a trailer for it.  Is that a good sign?

National Treasure - Well, maybe no one else cares what Jon Turteltaub's latest is, but I do, damn it!  I DO!!!!!!!!

Envy - This isn't based on another of Barry Levinson's old scripts, is it?  And where the hell is Kyle Gass?

American Wedding - How do they keep it so fresh?

Lara Croft 2 - It's a scary movie.  There's a part where Angelina Jolie looks exactly like the game Lara Croft!  Well, lit exactly like the game Lara Croft, anyway.  Scary lighting.

S.W.A.T. - I wonder if Colin Farrell is losing interest in his career yet.

Independence Day - Today's the 6th.  Why are they showing it today?!

Seabiscuit - This turkey's got legs!


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